Don’t Let Your Breakup Leave You Broken..

Break ups, Sounds weird right???

For most of us it is no new word.

What do you think about it…??? Well, I am not here to preach people for not having breakups because sometimes it seems inevitable so I see no point in preaching, but at the same time we cannot ignore the unadorned outcomes of the breakup.

I believe everyone in his/her lifetime for at least once go through this relationship breakup, the most traumatic event in one’s life. For many it becomes a life changer and for some of us it is life threatening. Whatever may be the case, the fact is nobody wants a breakup in life, yet they face it. Sometimes breakups are so brutal that they leave a person good for nothing; they are not able to cope up with the break up.

For some a relationship breakup is so profound that it leaves them absolutely fragile and vulnerable. This is largely due to our expectations, attachments etc. with the person. One suffers intense feelings of loss because of the breakups. Some breakups are so intense that a person is left with no hope of life also. No matter how hard you tried not to have it, but still it did happen…. NOW WHAT????

I myself have gone through breakups and I don’t mind sharing this reality of my life here, mostly outcome of any relationship is painful but still being human I believe to love is no crime. After going through my latest breakup I felt like writing this for all those who are going through breakups at the moment. I myself felt like giving up on my life after the event, I had to go through real tough time in life personally, physically, financially, relationally and professionally.

Breakups are most often physiological, they directly hit one’s mental health and leads to sleeplessness, stress, anxiety, depression and so on… One feel unloved, ditched, used and what not

Effects Of Breakup

• Anxiety, stress and depression are common traits,
• Person feels broken
• Person becomes fragile and vulnerable
• Negative thought process
• Increased negative reactions
• Avoid talking and connecting with people
• Feeling low always
• No charm for life
• Life seems a burden
• Increased alcohol use (Not everybody opt for it)
• Weight loss
• Physical health at stake
• Mental health goes strikingly
• Admissions to psychiatric services
• Increased criminal behaviour
• Have grudges against the person
• Increased risk of suicide
• Becomes lifeless
• Life seems redundant
• Negative emotions and feelings (such as guilt, anger, or rejection)                                                                                                                                    And so on….

These are just few of them, person to person effects varies.

After my breakup I was broken completely and was affected so badly that I wanted to give up on life and used to think of the ways to go ahead with the idea, and it continued for weeks. I was put on anti depressants for the same and while I was having those antidepressant I could realize that I and my mind were only sleeping day in and day out. I had lost all the interest in my life. But somewhere inside something was alive, some spark... I call it LIFE; my life wanted me not to give up, my inner self wanted me to live it... I listened to my inner voice and chucked the idea of giving up and that’s how I am here to write it all for you.

Why such painful situation occurs in one’s life or shall I put it like this “why it is so painful to have a breakup?”

In my opinion, when we are too attached to the person, when we put our own life on stake for the other person, when we start to give more importance to the person but to ourselves, when we forget that anything which is giving happiness to us at the moment will be the reason of our misery in future, we consider the person significant for our life etc. No matter how hard we try not to connect ourselves emotionally to the person, gradually we get emotionally connected and those emotions when got hurt as a result we feel immense pain and the situation becomes hurtful for days, months and for some it takes years to come out of the situation.

WHY ONE SHOULD NOT GIVE UP:

Believe you me; whatever you go through during those intense moments of your life is very very very TEMPORARY.

Yes, those feelings, those negative emotions, those pains, those heart aches, those mood swings, those disturbances, those commotions within, those tears, those feelings of charmlessness, those suicidal thoughts, those feelings of being used are all TEMPORARY. Yes, every single emotion you go through that period is temporary.

Presently it may be painful but once you will be out of this situation you will feel good, you will be happier than before, you will have clarity of thoughts.

WHAT SHOULD BE DONE IN SUCH SITUATION?

First and foremost NEVER GIVE UP.

Trust yourself

Acceptance is bliss. Accept the situation and MOVE ON

Associate with people you feel connected and trustworthy

Talk to people

Be positive, no matter how hard it seems

Love yourself, the way you would love someone else

Do not forget that YOU are IMPORTANT

Always believe that you ONLY YOU can help yourself in coming out of the muddle

Never forget love is way too precious than any relation

Never have grudges

Forgiveness is bliss

"Always remember whatever is forgiveable, is forgettable"

Give time sometime

It is always said that Time heals every wound; it is true to some extent, when you give yourself some time you yourself get time to self realize the situation, to introspect the situation and to understand; that one reality of nature that whatever happen, happens for a reason.

STEPS TO BE TAKEN TO COME OUT OF THE SITUATION

You need to change you routine, change your lifestyle as old lifestyle or routine will only cause you more pain which is not good. The more you indulge yourself in the situation the more painful your condition would be in the long run and it will become tough for you to come out. By this I do not mean that you should start just immediately after your break up, I just want to say GO SLOW AND STEADY. To start seems hardest but believe you me once you start you will see significant changes in your life and all of them would be positive and life changing.

1. Eat Healthy: Eating healthy can help you gain health and good mood too

2. Drink Lot Of Water: Water helps in healing anxiety, stress and depression

3. Take Nice Sound Sleep: Taking rest is always beneficial for our mental health

4. Do Pranayam, (Pranayam is so powerful that it can change you inside out)

5. Do Meditation, it helps calm you down

6. Listen to good Music: Music has an ability to relax one’s mind

7. Dance Your Heart Out: Dancing energizes you and leave you with the positive state of mind

8. Do Exercise: Helps not only burns calories but also releases happy hormones in the body.

9. Running: Running not only burns calories but also boost mood.

10. Read Good Books: Reading books is one of the activities which not only divert your mind but also help you gain lot of information and knowledge about everything.

BE HAPPY, BE HEALTHY, BE AUDACIOUS, BE PEACEFUL AND MOVE ON!!

THIS LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED BUT NOT CRUSHED FOR SOME REDUNDANT REASON!!!

SMILE!!

-joy